Nursing home care: Sharing a room
Many new nursing home residents will have to share a room. Sharing a room with a stranger is never easy. This loss of privacy and independence can come as quite a shock and will take time to adjust to.
In this article:
Finding a suitable room-mate
The nursing home will try to place your loved one with a compatible resident. However, accommodating everyone's preferences for a room-mate is not easy. In an emergency your parent may be placed in the first available bed. Remember that they can always change rooms later on.
If your parent is unhappy about their room-mate try and focus on the positives about the room. Perhaps it's close to the nurses station for extra attention, not far from the dining room or has a nice view to the garden.
Make the space as comfortable as you can. Bringing photos, treasured items from home, a favourite blanket or picture can make the space feel more homely and private.
Handling different routines
For residents sharing a room with a stranger, don't expect the relationship to flourish straight away. Conflicts can and do occur. Your parent may complain that their room-mate keeps them awake, calls out or spends too much time in the bathroom.
These complaints are inevitable especially if they have to share a room with a few other residents. Your parent's routine may not be compatible with their room-mates but after a couple of weeks residents usually get to know eachother's natural rhythm and things calm down.
Consider purchasing earplugs and TV head sets for privacy.
Establishing friendships
Companionship increases our sense of wellbeing. Give your parent the space to settle in to a nursing home and get to know their room-mate. Gradually over time strong friendships can form between nursing home residents.
Residents who previously lived alone can enjoy better health when sharing meals and joining in activities. They can also enjoy the company of family visitors and friends, especially if they don't have family close by.
Most nursing home residents enjoy the companionship of a room-mate and over time a relationship of mutual support and trust develops.
Always ask a nursing home about changing rooms if the situation is not suitable. Some residents will be completely incompatible.
People with dementia and changed behaviours can be more difficult to place. Residents who wander or call out can disturb other residents and their health can suffer.
Daily conflicts
If your parent is immobile and completely dependent on staff for all their nursing care, they may focus on what you may see as petty concerns.
Imagine having to rely on a stranger to change your position, take you to the toilet or give you a drink. You would feel very vulnerable and perhaps a little cranky when your daily routine is interrupted. Staff shortages, sick residents and unexpected events happen in nursing homes and your parent may miss their cup of tea or early shower.
Remind yourself that small changes can make a big difference. Get to know staff by name. If your family member complains about another resident or staff member, make sure you get all sides of the story. Pointing the accusatory finger at overworked staff won't help.
Listen to your parent and try to remain positive. Be open with staff and try to come up with solutions together. Discuss your concerns early on with the registered nurse in charge. If things don't change make sure you complain through the aged care homes formal complaints system.
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