My father refuses nursing care, what can I do?

Many older people who need nursing care will be resistive to outside help. Losing your independence at any age is extremely difficult. Having a stranger come to the home and perform quite intimate tasks can take some getting used to.

Many adult children and older spouses reach a stage where providing care for a family member becomes overwhelming. It's important to communicate to a loved one about your own needs and capabilities.

Is providing the care they need putting your own health at risk? Can you juggle the demands of caring with your own family and work life?

Explaining honestly to a family member the reasons behind your decision can sometimes help. Try and focus on the positives of getting extra nursing care and how it could help to keep them independent at home for longer.

Introducing care slowly for a few hours a week can also help. Be prepared to try a few different carers until you find someone you feel comfortable with.

As much as you can support an older person's efforts to remain independent and to make their own decisions. It can be worrying but unless a loved one is in real danger due to impaired judgement, it's important to allow a loved one to make their own decisions and have some control.

If you are concerned over a loved one's health call the local hospital and organise a visit from the aged care assessment team (ACAT). They can help arrange suitable nursing care.

Having someone who is not emotionally connected to your loved one point out a loved one's capabilities and the care they require can be beneficial. It can also help resolve any ongoing family disputes.