Caregiver stress and how to avoid it

When your loved one is first diagnosed with dementia, each member of your family (and good friends) will experience their own emotions about this. One of the most common effects that can arise at some point is stress.

Stress can be experienced due to your every day life (work, parenting, relationship, financial) and the added news of a loved one suffering from dementia is going to add to that load.

Feeling fatigue, heart palpitations, insomnia, headaches, muscle aches and pains, nausea and heat flushes are all common signs of unhealthy stress.

You may also be aware of feeling like you’re on a short fuse, with an increased irritability and tendency to ‘flare up’ at people or situations in which you normally would be quite calm.

There will be practical and emotional considerations to be made and the more proactive you can be with some strategies to help you, the better you will handle the journey.

Tips for avoiding caregiver stress

• Manage your health- try and eat healthy foods, cut back on alcohol/caffeine and get plenty of sleep.
   
• Engage in effective communication – you’ll be talking to doctors, your family and other people, so being clear, assertive and calm will help you get the information you need and help you communicate what your needs are. 
   
• Find healthy outlets – make sure you get some exercise and be creative. Perhaps you won’t be able to go for that 30km bike ride anymore as it might take you away for too long, but substituting jogging for a treadmill will mean you are able to get some physical exercise (a fabulous stress reducer) whilst caregiving.
   
• Nurture yourself – schedule in a massage once a month, you can even get a home visit if that helps. Find small, simple pleasures you can easily engage them and most importantly of all, schedule them in so that you do them!
   
• Plan some time out – talk to other family members/friends/organisations about respite care and schedule it in on a regular basis. Regular breaks will benefit your health, both physically and emotionally. If you are happy you will be a far more effective caregiver.
   
•  Ask questions – if you’re not sure about something, get in contact with the doctor and ask as many questions as you need to. Write things down in a diary or calendar so you don’t have to remember it all yourself.
   
• Get systems in place – plan ahead for things like meals. Cook extra portions and freeze them so you can re-heat something when you’re tired.
   
• Look after yourself emotionally – whether it’s seeing a counsellor, reading books about other people’s experiences, talking to someone at Alzheimer’s Australia, or writing a diary about your feelings. It is important to look after your emotional state.
   

Well-meaning friends can sometimes add to your own sadness by talking about how awful it is, so you end up counselling them to make them feel better! So make sure you organise some self-care on an emotional level to give you strength for when you need it most.

Article by AgedCarer Contributor
Psychologist, Jacqui Manning