Caring from a distance

Submitted by Emma Hamilton on Mon, 16/11/2009 - 11:01pm

Find out about services and arrange to meet service providers before visiting a family member.

It is not unusual for family members to live many kilometres away from each other. Caring for ageing family members from a distance can be challenging and requires careful planning.

In this article:

Preparing for the carer role
Assessing home care needs
How to arrange home care services
Home care with the help of family and friends
Organising a care plan
Buying home care aids and equipment
Getting the right financial advice and help with legal issues

Unfortunately much of the caring role isn't spent having quality time with family members. Caring from a distance often revolves around coordinating services, getting relevant information, purchasing equipment and managing someone's finances.

Preparing for the carer role

Caring from a distance also means spending long periods of time relaying information between family members, siblings and service providers.

If your ageing family member has a chronic disease they will probably need more help over time. This gradual change in abilities allows us to be somewhat prepared and plan ahead.

Knowing what to expect and having an idea of how a condition will progress in the future can help you make the right decisions about suitable housing, services and equipment.

Unfortunately many people have to organise care when a crisis occurs or a loved one suddenly falls ill. It is better to be prepared in some way to cope with the possibility that one day you will be called upon to help.

There are a number of things you can do to make your role as a long distance carer a little easier.

Assessing home care needs

Before you organise home care services you will need to figure out how well your parents are coping at home. Determining how much help ageing parents need over the phone can be impossible.

Changes in health can be subtle and difficult to detect with a phone call. For others, sudden illness may determine what care services need to be arranged from the beginning.

Older people may be reluctant to ask for help, they may even refuse outside assistance. Plan to spend a few days with a family member. Look for clues that may indicate more help is needed.

Try talking to your family member, mention you have noticed a change in circumstances and offer practical help. You could start by saying "I've noticed there's not much food in the fridge, can I organise to have meals delivered?"

Warning signs a family member may need help at home:

• Problems with mobility
• Difficulty shopping for food, preparing and eating meals
• Lack of interest in personal hygiene
• Problems with incontinence
• Can no longer drive, get to the shops, use public transport
• Shows signs of confusion and memory loss
• Difficulty with finances and personal banking
• Neglect of household maintenance, laundry, gardening
• Problems getting to doctors appointments
• Difficulty taking medication
• Isolated from friends
• Problems with vision and hearing
• Falls and accidents in the home

If you feel a family member is having difficulties at home start by organising an aged care assessment. Call an Aged Care Assessment Team (ACAT) at the local hospital and book an assessment. You will have to arrange this as soon as possible as in some areas there can be long waiting lists. If you can, talk to a family member's doctor.

Alternatively call a home nursing or domestic agency directly. They can visit a family member at home and help you figure out what services a loved one needs. Private home nursing agencies can usually arrange care immediately.

How to arrange home care services from a distance

Knowing what services are available and arranging care for someone far away can be time consuming and confusing.

Start by calling The Commonwealth Respite and Carelink Centre on 1800 052 222. If you can, let them know what kind of care you need. They can send you information about local available services, how to access them and if your family member is eligible for government programs.

You can also try ringing the local council and ask for information about home and community care in the area. The Home and Community Care (HAAC) program supports older people at home by helping with personal hygiene, shopping, meals, housework, transport and home modification. You do not need an aged care assessment for this service. Get the phone numbers of local home care service providers and book appointments to meet them on your next visit.

If you are having to organise the move of an ageing person into a nursing home you can use a professional aged care placement agency to do it for you.

Aged care placement agencies can help you find a suitable nursing home, arrange for admission and help with any paper work and financial matters. They are ideal for family who live overseas or interstate.

Home care with the help of family and friends

Family members who live near by, old friends and neighbours can often contribute to caring. Ask your family member about people they regularly see. They may be able to help in some small way, even having a neighbour take out the bins, collect any mail or run a family member to the shops can be a great relief.

Collect the numbers of neighbours, friends and any useful contacts. Give a copy of the house keys to people you trust. At times you may have trouble contacting your parents, ask the neighbours if you can ring them in case of an emergency.

Discussing with family who does what is often the first obstacle in caring for a loved one. Juggling work, family and a social life with a caring role can be very challenging and some family members will be able to help more than others.

Everyone will have different strengths, responsibilities and schedules. Some family members may be better at talking with health professionals or dealing with finances, whilst another family member may have more time to help with the practical aspects of caring.

Write down what everyone will do to avoid fighting. Agree to time periods, set days and roles. To avoid confusion nominate one family member as the contact person for service providers.

If you can't help out practically with the care of a loved one offer a primary caregiver acknowledgment and support. Encourage them to take breaks and help them organise respite care.

Organising a care plan

A care plan is an assessment of all the needs of the person you are caring for and the services employed to help you both. It is important to keep an up to date care plan as it means at any time, a carer can walk into your loved ones home and know what to do and who to call for help.

Home care assistants can change regularly, they will need to know all they can about your family member in order to care for them appropriately. A care plan can include details like what time someone likes to take a shower, food preferences, use of walking aids, likes and dislikes or a medication schedule.

If you can, get to know your family member's pharmacist and doctor. Older people can be reluctant to share medical information and due to confidentiality health professionals cannot share information without consent.

Remember to:

Keep several copies of your care plan
List all of the care coordinators, health professionals and their contact numbers
Remember to update the care plan regularly
Distribute the care plan to other family members
Make a list of service providers and their contact numbers for hearing aids, glasses, diabetic equipment and any walking frames on loan etc.

Buying home care aids and equipment

If your ageing family member is having problems getting around the house or attending to personal hygiene they could benefit from home care aids and equipment. These devices can make a big difference to the daily life of someone with a disability.

You can find home care aids to help with dressing, showering and getting up and down stairs. Home care aids make daily living tasks easier, meaning your loved one can stay independent in the home for longer.

If your family member is having problems taking medications, contact the pharmacist and arrange for medications to be packed and delivered. If you are worried about an older family member who lives alone, organise a personal alarm system. In case of a fall a family member can then call for help with the press of a button.

Getting the right financial advice and help with legal issues

If you are caring for an ageing family member make sure you get professional financial advice. Aged care services can be costly, you need the right financial advice to help you figure out the costs of home or residential aged care and what you can afford.

These arrangements can only be made whilst a person has capacity and understands what they are doing.
Most carers need to help a person pay bills, access bank accounts, organise medical benefits and government pensions. Try and arrange to pay for as many bills as possible online.

To do this you will have to make sure your loved one has organised:

Power of attorney
Enduring power of attorney
Guardianship
Arrangements with a bank or other companies for you to pay bills or access accounts on their behalf
Nominee arrangements with Centrelink to help manage pensions
An up to date will

At some point you may need to access:

Birth and death certificates
Property deeds and lease arrangements
Investments/debts/shares
Home/life/health/insurance policies
Bank account details
Funeral arrangements

Who can help you?

A solicitor or the guardianship board can help you organise enduring power of attorney and other legal matters.
Seek out financial advice from your financial adviser.
To find home care services in your area call The Commonwealth Respite and Carelink Centre on 1800 052 222.
Find suppliers of home care aids and equipment at Independent Living Centres around Australia.