Should I take my parent home for Xmas?

If you are caring for a family member with dementia you may be wondering how you are going to keep family traditions alive whilst coping with the demands of caregiving.

If you are caring for a loved one in a nursing home you could be toying with the idea of bringing them home for Xmas lunch, perhaps for an overnight stay. The thought of leaving a loved one in an aged care home can make even the most dedicated caregiver feel guilty. But don't beat yourself up about it.

If your parent stays in the aged care home they could actually enjoy a bit of peace and quiet. As many other residents will be out, nursing staff can give your parent their full attention. Often an afternoon visit from family is enough. Most residents love to show off their grandchildren to staff.

Xmas can be a noisy and chaotic time, especially when young children are around. Taking someone with advancing dementia out of familiar surroundings and away from routine can be unsettling. They may end up becoming agitated or behave in a way that others find uncomfortable.

It depends on the person and how they feel on the day. Above all be prepared for things to change abruptly. A day out can be extremely tiring for everyone involved.

Nursing homes can be disorderly places on Xmas morning. It is not uncommon for a mass exodus of residents by 10:30am. This means your family member will probably be up early and rushed to get ready. By the time you arrive to pick your parent up for lunch they could be ready for a nap!

Staff will be extra busy and unable to help you at the last minute. If you are planning a day out allow yourself plenty of time. Remember to organise any medication early on and put aside a special outfit in advance.

Try packing a small bag a few days before hand. Consider taking spare clothes, incontinence pads, wipes, a Kylie, hand towel and a cushion to sit on. If you are travelling long distances take a bottle of water and use the bathroom before heading off.

Think about how you are going to transport a parent in the car. Do you need a swivel seat to get in the car? Does the walking frame fold up? Does the wheelchair collapse and fit in the car? Will you need help to transfer a parent?

The christmas season can be a wonderful time for connecting with family and friends but it can also place extra strain on carers. You will need the help of other family members so make sure you ask for specific help before hand. Above all enjoy your special day!