Creating opportunities for friendships to flourish

We all want our loved ones to settle comfortably into life in a nursing home. Forming new friendships and finding people you connect with on a deeper level can be difficult at any age. But imagine having to make new friends in an environment where the only thing you have in common with other residents is your need for care.

Residents of nursing homes have a great deal of time on their hands. For many residents sharing stories of their lives, chatting to staff and family members is often a highlight of the day. It gives a resident a sense of intimacy and belonging. However, the act of communicating can be frustrating for many nursing home residents. Seemingly small obstacles to communication can sadly prevent many new friendships from forming before they've even begun.

Residents of nursing homes usually have some difficulty in their ability to communicate. It is not uncommon for a resident to have poor vision, difficulty hearing or a speech impairment. Throw in some degree of memory loss and it's no wonder many residents find it a challenge to keep a conversation going.

Carers and other family members can play a role in encouraging new friendships in an aged care home by taking the time to talk to staff and other residents.

Nursing staff are in a unique position in that they usually have a pretty good grasp on each resident's history, interests and preferences. Although a lot of their time is spent taking care of the physical needs of older people, because of the nature of the work itself these short daily exchanges can encourage close bonds.

Unfortunately nursing staff are also very busy. Residents are often grouped together in a living room without much thought to social interaction. If your immobile but talkative parent is seated next to someone who has difficulty hearing or has slurred speech they may quickly lose interest in a conversation or give up on the exchange altogether.

If you are wondering who may have something in common with your loved one ask the care staff. Get to know the nurses by name and share with them a little bit of history about your loved one. For instance, if your parent likes playing bridge or gardening let staff know and ask them to 'buddy' up your parent with someone with similar interests.

Unfortunately the friendships your parent makes will much depend on their daily routine and who is around at the time. The dining room is a good place to start. Try sharing a meal with a loved one in the dining room and strike up conversation with fellow residents. Whilst some residents don't take kindly to a stranger at the table most enjoy a lively discussion and a break in routine.

If your parent has a hearing problem don't sit with them in a noisy environment with the TV blaring. Position them them up close to another resident in a quiet area. And make sure they have their hearing aid!

Bringing young children, pets and photos is also an easy way to start a conversation and meet other residents. People tend to open up and reminisce about family and their lives if they have the opportunity.

If you find visiting a loved one in a nursing home upsetting and you are at a loss of what to say, try spending the time doing an activity. Invite other residents to play a card game or puzzle. You could also try organising a movie night at the nursing home with other families.

This could be the start of an intimate weekly ritual. Although you may be busy with an activity you are still communicating with your loved one just by being there. Not talking may even be a way of lengthening your stay.

If you live far away from a loved one or your parent has advanced dementia you can always tape yourself reading a book or send a video of the family to the aged care home.

Not much happens in the daily lives of nursing home residents so sharing what's happening in your own life may be your parents only link to life outside. Everyone loves sharing family news. Residents often talk to staff and others family life so it's important to keep them up to date. It can be a great conversation starter for weeks to come.

Meaningful interactions can be possible in an aged care home and there's no reason why your parent cannot make new friends, they just might need to be helped along.