Help with convincing sister something is wrong with dad
I'm convinced my dad's memory loss is not normal but my sister doesn't agree. She spends most of her time with him and thinks these changes are normal and I'm overreacting. Do I have any say? Can I ring the doctor?
It's an interesting point. Memory loss as we age is, I believe, normal, if you really want to look at it from a realistic perspective. It's only alarming in a practical sense if the memory loss affects the persons ability to cope with day to day activities. So you may approach this with your sister from a different viewpoint - is your father forgetting to do things like turn off the stove, for example, that may be dangerous? If you talk to her about practical issues and don't seem to be critical of him, she might see where you are coming from.
Set up whatever tests you feel he might need in order to get whatever assistance may become necessary.
Your sister may not be noticing the changes in your dad's memory because she is with him most of the time, the changes would appear subtle to her or perhaps she may not be ready to accept the changes yet. I think it is important not to argue with your sister over this but talk to her and tell her you are concerned about dads memory and tell her you would like to have him assessed so you can both find ways to help him with this. It might even help if you include your dad in the discussion and ask him if he feels he is having problems remembering things. Usually the long term memory will be good eg he can talk about things that happened 40 - 50 years ago but is unable to tell you what he did yesterday. You can have your dad assessed for free though the Aged Care Assessment Team (ACAT) which is a part of the public health system and you or your sister can organise this assessment with a phone call. ACAT can be found in the aged care section in the front of the phone book. Alternatively you could ask the GP to do a test on your dad called a mini mental (MMSE).
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